November 7, 2002
There's a guy at my school who was in a terrible accident that cost him his life. His car was totaled in a head on collision with a dump truck. He never had a chance.
It's been tough. I've never heard the school this quiet. Hell, I've never seen the school this empty. It's a little scary, and sad, and strange at the same time... so many words, and yet, not ne that can possibly express how I feel. From what I've heard, the guy was funny, energetic, nd cool all around. It's strange.. I'm sad, and, for the first time, the tears I want to come won't. I can feel my eyes building the dam that keeps my tears from leaking out. I'd rather not be here now, around the people that knew him well. It hurts to wach them cry, and know that I can't.
I don't know nearly enough people at this school. Time passes so quickly, and it's hard to know people. I may have known him- perhaps not as a friend, or even as an associate, but as a person, one of the many faces that I saw in the halls daily. I do know many people here, but only by face. If I had a picture, perhaps someone to attach to the name, I'd feel better. I'd know who he was. I'd be able to seeto hear his voice laughing in the hall, to know who he is; to know who he was.
In many people, he is not dead. He lives stil, through his friends, family, and even through his peers that knew him as I did: through his face.It's people like us that are having a hard time, too. I know that it's difficult- maybe too difficult- a burden for family and close friends, but for people like myself it's even harder. We have no way of attachig a face from the hundreds we see daily. We hear the people crying into the silence, and we want to cry too, but it just won't come. It's times like these that make us stronger, giving us a greater need for survival.
I hear people's voices beginning to stir, and they speak of old times, the good times, the fun times. The past. There is meek laughter, and I smile with hope. Hope that the sadness is over, the pain is over. Maybe someday I will feel the same way these people do, and I hope to God that when that day comes the people won't be hurt as they are today. It's true that occasions like this are very depressing, but the important thing is to remember the good times, reflect, and take a moment to pray to God. He would want that. Pray for life and believe. Believe that one day you will see each other again. It may be soon, or it may be later, but you will eveentually see each other again.
Death is one of the strangest things in life. It's life's greates enigma. We know how to control death, oyut ultimate fate, in suicide. We can even control the fate of others. After death, we know nothing. We need to believe that there is life after death, know that there is a Heaven and a Hell, and trut in God. Trust, be He one or many. Be He God or Allah, Zeus or other. If there is life after death, then deathis something to look forward to, because you will be reunited with people you have lost.
Your ticket to the future is always ope. If you keep your vision clear, you will see the future.
To life, to love, to the future, and to the ultimate fate of death.
To *****
With hope, love, and support for your friends and family.
Edward
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